The Cat in the Hat DVD Review:

It’s raining outside and Conrad and Sally (Breslin and Fanning) are under strict instructions from their Mum (Preston) not to set foot in the living room. Enter the Cat in the Hat (Myers) to inject them with chaotic fun that involves messing up the house and finding their lost dog, probably snatched by the sneering villain next door; Larry (Baldwin).

The Cat in the Hat represents director Bo Welch’s debut behind the megaphone having acted as a production designer for much of his career, creating bizarre worlds that the characters of Men in Black and Wild, Wild West inhabited and here proves he still has an eye for colour. The town of Anville is psychedelic and other-worldly and everything down to the clothes and the dog’s pony tail are heavily stylised to take the viewer to a homely, almost 1950s vision of family bliss that captures the visuals from the famous Dr Seuss children’s book. A shame then that, after the film’s only true touch of brilliance in ‘Seussifying’ the opening logos, things quickly become gimmicky, underwritten and uninteresting.

Welch’s only aim seems to be to capture his own world at work hence everything is shot from a painfully low angle meaning the reality of the film is soon overbearing and his ignorance of everything else going on is far too obvious. While the kids aren’t really that bad they are still merely witnesses to The Cat’s unfunny antics and when he belatedly makes his appearance Myers soon loses his nine lives. Someone must have thought that most of Austin Powers was improvised and have stuck to the rule that just dressing up Myers as a big cat and letting him run riot would stir up the laughs. Nothing could be further from the truth and Myers is left stranded to rattle off lines with a faux Woody Allen accent while frequently winking to the audience and filling gaps with a tired Dr Evil laugh. It doesn’t help matters with a story that, needing to fill time, has him performing little sketches in increasingly inept accents.

With the original book only consisting of 225 words the filmmakers have taken the liberty of padding out the mother character and throwing in a few more namely the incredibly out of place Baldwin as the villain of the piece who wants to see Conrad shipped off to military school, bah-bah-baaaaah. These additions do nothing to help or build on the story’s very simple plot and only serve to drag out proceedings to a still too long 82 minutes. While the film may spark a few memories of the book, notably the iconic balancing act or the multi-armed D.I.R.T but these are soon sullied forever by laughable wire work and shoddy CG effects.

If there’s anything to praise in this mess you’d have to look to Will & Grace’s Sean Hayes who makes the best of a bad situation by putting in two memorable performances; Mr Humberfloob and the voice of the disbelieving Fish. All it really goes to show is that if anyone should’ve had a go at The Cat it should have been Hayes and at least he wouldn’t have looked woefully out of shape.

The fact that this made millions during its run at the US box office is a disbelief and surely down to the Dr Seuss brand which is looking decidedly shakey after this disaster. Where Pixar know how to aim a movie at kids and adults alike The Cat in the Hat is constantly ‘Myered’ in limbo between crude contemporary humour and a limp children’s moral tale that says nothing of morality.

BONUS FEATURES

Feature Commentary by Bo Welch and Alec Baldwin

You might be surprised to hear Baldwin as he only had a bit part but he does at least have an easy banter with Welch and it’s up to him to fire off questions about the films production despite constantly interrupting the answers to faun over Kelly Preston. Although you soon lose respect for Baldwin when he declares the entrance of Thing 1 and Thing 2 as a cinematic masterpiece and both he and Welch seem blissfully unaware of the S.H.I.T. they’ve created.

16 Deleted Scenes

A handful of new bits that, if left in, would have carried the film over 90 minutes but at the same time would have made it worse, if that’s possible. There’s a lengthy and amazingly pointless scene of Baldwin buying a big TV and also, if one shot wasn’t enough, more of the acting vacuum Paris Hilton. She even speaks!

Outtakes

Probably the only laughs on the entire DVD and this is mainly down to Baldwin swearing continuously in front of the child actors.

Featurettes

You get about a dozen featurettes chronicling various aspect of The Cat in the Hat such as making the Hat itself or the S.L.O.W. Don’t be fooled by the long list on the back of the box, each of these clocks in at around two and a half minutes and while this is probably manageable for the little ones they don’t provide any real insight. One looks at Dr Seuss himself which is probably the most satisfying and another notable one is the scoring of the film achieved by making Seussian instruments to create new sounds.

Dance-Along with the Cat

Something for the kids and it shows you a few dance steps for them to practice. However, when you dance along with the cat it’s pretty obvious it isn’t Myers, his face constantly turned away from the audience.

OVERALL

The DVD package is a lot more child-orientated and, like Austin Powers, has menus hosted by the actors so it’s a bit more interactive. Shame the same can’t be said for a downright travesty of filmmaking that the disc pretends to like.

Richard Badley

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