XXX: The State of the Union DVD Review:

“XXX: State of the Union”: Audiences Call for a Recount

It’s not every day an iconic hero is born, but franchise hungry Hollywood studios pop enough fertility drugs to mate office furniture, fingers crossed that something lucrative will develop. While every marginally gifted crime-fighter and his brother have tried to squeeze into Spiderman’s tights, only a handful have dared don James Bond’s tux. Most have never been heard from again, but in recent years the Mission: Impossible (M:I) and Bourne spy franchises have scored big, even if few could pick the characters themselves out of a lineup. “XXX” shook up audiences in 2002 with irreverent, muscle-bound, extreme sports fanatic Vin Diesel playing a spy that 21st century teenagers could call their own. Inevitably it has evolved into a franchise with the sequel “XXX: State of the Union,” starring not Diesel but irreverent, doughy, extreme scowler Ice Cube. I’m not saying those teenagers are looking to sell, but I’ve heard they’re taking offers.

While the Bourne films have taken the super spy formula back to the gritty basics, the XXX franchise plays up its more absurd aspects: wacky gadgets, preposterous stunts, pounding music, and cheesy one-liners. The character XXX himself is a very American one, all brute force and attitude, and with the switch to Ice Cube increasingly urban. In another break from Bond, this XXX is oddly sexless. He barely even gets to sneak a kiss in. Years after N.W.A. the man is still trying to keep Cube down. In fact, to infiltrate a swanky soiree he has to disguise himself as, yes, a waiter. Oh dear.

The suaveness and sophistication originally synonymous with the genre having gone out the window, one might suppose some of the charm has been lost. Still, with recent Bond director Lee Tamahori in the chair there should be more than enough gaudy spectacle to compensate, right? Alas, “State” doesn’t have the slick thrills to match either Tamahori’s “Die Another Day” or “M:I2.” Perhaps the budget was confining, but the combination of lifeless cinematography, appalling dialogue, and largely generic action is more characteristic of a TV movie than a theatrical release.

As we begin NSA agent Augustus Gibbons (Samuel L. Jackson) barely escapes when mysterious commandos attack his base in Virginia. Deducing that this group is hunting down members of his old unit, Gibbons breaks Darius Stone (Ice Cube) out of military prison to replace the surprisingly deceased Diesel as the new XXX. Gibbons and Stone served together in Kosovo, the latter jailed for violently protesting a murderous order given by General George Deckert (Willem Dafoe), currently the Secretary of Defense. It turns out Deckert is trying to tie up some loose ends before forcibly supplanting the dovish President (Peter Strauss) he reviles. Doggedly pursued by NSA agent Kyle Steele (Scott Speedman), Stone races to unravel Deckert’s plot and save the President.

With his themes of international cooperation and diplomatic solutions this surprisingly liberal President could be a spokesman for the UN. When he suggests to Congress that we win the hearts and minds of our enemies and turn them into our allies I half expected chants of “flower power” to erupt. New Zealander Tamahori has created a President that even Western Europe could love. Middle America on the other hand must have felt very conflicted when watching the film. On the one hand a reactionary general is attempting to depose the President, but on the other said President is a filthy liberal. What’s a Republican to do? At least they can take heart in his casual dismissal of the environment.

Ice Cube probably gives about as good as he can, but the superhero mold established by Diesel is an awkward fit for him, and not just physically. Despite Gibbons’ questionable assertions to the contrary, it’s not completely unlike Danny De Vito replacing Arnold Schwarzenegger. Writer Simon Ginberg attempts to compensate by turning up the attitude to the point where Ice Cube’s face is transfixed in an almost permanent scowl, broken only by the occasional infusion of moribund “humor.” I never thought it was possible to make Jackson and Dafoe boring, but “State” succeeds. Jackson seems to have been instructed to stay well out of Ice Cube’s spotlight, and concentrates on his paycheck as he mumbles his forgettable nothings in the background. Dafoe only gets one brief villainous rant, and is similarly sedate. Speaking of which, Speedman sleepwalks through his role, looking uncannily like Owen Wilson. Rapper Xzibit displays a surprising degree of natural charisma as Stone’s old chop shop buddy, and Strauss hams it up with apparent inspiration from Donald Trump. The nadir is Michael Roof as Gibbons’ tech geek, who hits nearly every tired white boy cliché and then backs up over them for good measure.

The only action scene nearly cool enough and certainly ludicrous enough to be memorable is a tank duel inside an aircraft carrier, which Stone resolves in a highly original fashion. The attempts at comedy are by and large disastrous, producing only a few unintended laughs. For example we are supposed to be amused by Stone’s casual defiance of authority when he puts the mission on hold so he can “get more fries and another shake,” but this merely inspires a chuckle at the seeming confirmation that the new XXX isn’t going to challenge Diesel for the lead in a “Pumping Iron” remake anytime soon. One admittedly funny touch comes during the climax when an explosion flings the flaming body of a villain into a fire danger sign, flipping the reading from low to high.

The score clearly apes the Bond theme in places, but is often so limp and lackluster that it deflates action scenes. The visual effects crew turns in a very slick Bond-like credits sequence, and is otherwise solid as long as they’re not asked too much. However, the climactic chase unfolds in an almost entirely CGI environment, and feels so artificial that the danger is sucked out of it.

The extensive extras begin with a commentary from Tamahori and Ginberg that describes a deeper and more interesting film than what we actually see, shockingly intended as a 70s political thriller (!). Mostly Ginberg just drones on and on about his cardboard characters though. The visual effects commentary is more gripping for film buffs, giving lots of great detail on how shots were completed. Although much of the film could not be shot on location in Washington, the crew did go out and photograph all the real places and used the images for nearly seamless background plates. There is a very meaty making of documentary that covers the film from top to bottom, perhaps containing a pretentious degree of detail for such a meager production. Dafoe reveals intriguingly, or perhaps disturbingly, that he based his character on Donald Rumsfeld. The first of three featurettes explains and shows the process of creating the big train chase from storyboard to previz to finished effects shot. The next discusses the unique weapons and technology created for the film, and I was amazed to learn that the crew constructed the entirely real looking tanks from scratch. In the third Ice Cube explains his take on the XXX character, and the rest of the cast and crew line up to feed his ego. Finally we get three very brief and superfluous deleted scenes.

Not appalling enough to be funny or explosive enough to be exciting, “XXX: State of the Union” will probably have to find its audience amongst Ice Cube diehards. He’s come a long way from Compton, and he could do a lot worse. Like “XXX3.” Better get that “Are We Still Not There Yet?” ball rolling.



Chris Wood