Recovered Classic: The Fearless Vampire Killers


Given the success and popularity of the studio’s films, the Hammer horror vaults were always ripe for spoofery, so it was no surprise when, in 1967, its iconic output was nailed by the purveyors of parody. What did come as something of a shock, however, was the identity of the director.
Having made a dazzling debut five years earlier with Knife in the Water, Roman Polanski quickly underlined his directorial credentials with the stunning Repulsion in 1965 and the eerily surreal Cul-de-Sac in 1966, a trio of movies which displayed serious helming ability. So it was more than a tad unexpected when his next movie turned out to be a comic homage to the classic Hammer horror films. Nothing he did before, or indeed since (Rosemary’s Baby, Chinatown, Frantic, The Ninth Gate and The Pianist for instance) offer even the slightest hint that he’d be the sort of man to consider taking on such a curious project. But he did, and not only as director, because he also took one of the lead acting roles, namely one of the titular incompetent vampire hunters.
Revered by some but ridiculed by others (unfavorable Carry On comparisons are not uncommon) this is the decidedly camp tale of batty Professor Abronsius (Jack MacGowran) and his faithful assistant Alfred (Polanski) whose long and fruitless vampire hunt has brought them to a typical horror movie village in 18th century Eastern Europe. Shacking up at Alfie Bass’ inn, they spot tell-tale garlic cloves hanging everywhere, but while the locals nervously deny knowledge of any nearby castles, it’s only a matter of time before the professor and Albert pick up the scent. Then again, they do have to wait for the kidnap of Bass’ luscious daughter Sarah (Sharon Tate) by the pointy-toothed Count Von Krolock (Ferdy Mayne), not to mention the innkeeper’s own fangs-in-the-neck demise, before their suspicions are finally confirmed. Then it’s off to Mayne’s snowbound castle in a valiant and slapstick strewn attempt to stake the Count and rescue the girl (who’s rarely out of the bath) while bumbling their way through various comical calamities.
Far from being a laugh riot, Polanski’s gently humorous movie is more of an engaging oddity, a film which plays the occasional comedy joker (there’s a gay vampire and a Jewish vampire with no fear of crucifixes), but is mostly content to go for the obvious laughs rather than trying to be too clever. Polanski is no great shakes as an actor, which perhaps lends weight to his character’s useless vampire slaying ability, but his direction is breezy and he displays a sharp appreciation for comedy, particularly of the physical variety, although it occasionally proves to be a bit heavy-handed.
For the real quality, however, you have to single out the film’s superb production design and Krystov Komeda’s haunting score, both of which make huge contributions that cannot be over-emphasised. They combine to particularly sublime effect during a vampires’ ball at the castle (the UK version of the film was actually called Dance of the Vampires) when only three human characters are visible in a huge mirror, a signature image from the movie.
A film which was actually released in two cuts (the U.S. version was re-edited and had an animated titles sequence added, against the director’s wishes) Polanski’s movie was also given the rather witty pseudonym Pardon Me, But Your Teeth Are in My Neck. Its notoriety, however, is perhaps mainly due to the fact that Tate (who was the director’s wife) died a year later after becoming the most famous victim of the Manson family’s murderous cult. Just another quirk to add to a long list of idiosyncrasies that surround a movie which really is something of a bonkers but entertaining one-off.

David Lichtneker

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