Catwoman Movie Review:


Poor Halle Berry. She coulda been a worthy contender to uphold the Catwoman standards of Julie Newmar, Eartha Kitt and Michelle Pfeiffer. She’s beautiful, sleek, sexy, and smart. She can act up a storm, as her Oscar-winning performance in “Monster’s Ball” proved. And, until she put on that ridiculous leather outfit in “Catwoman,” I was convinced she would win me over as a new feline superhero.

We’ll get to the movie itself later, but Berry’s costume must be dealt with right away. Was it designed by the Marquis de Sade? It certainly looks like something a dominatrix would wear. Yes, it shows lots of Berry’s gorgeous skin, but it’s not nearly as fetching as the form-fitting costume worn by other actresses in this role. And what’s that on her head – an ugly black swimming cap? Maybe I’m being too catty, but Berry looks like a hooker at a Halloween party whenever she dons her Catwoman duds.

Fortunately, a good part of the movie takes place before that catastrophe happens. In the early part of the film, Berry displays her acting chops by earning our sympathy as Patience Phillips, a shy ad artist, who finds out the cosmetics company she works for is planning to release a face cream that will destroy a woman’s skin when she stops using it. Because Patience knows too much, she’s murdered. But, not to worry. A mysterious cat she once tried to save breathes life back into her mouth -- and our heroine is reborn as the powerful and deadly Catwoman.

It takes a while for Patience to realize what happened, so Berry’s performance continues to draw us in as her character notices the changes in her own behavior. She reacts addictively to catnip, eats lots of tuna, sleeps on shelves and jumps around her apartment on top of all the furniture. Berry has all the catlike moves down pat in these scenes. And then, she puts on that dreadful costume. Okay, I know by this time Patience is supposed to be a kind of Jekyll/Hyde character. But the costume evokes embarrassed laughter and interferes with Berry’s ability to nail the “bad girl” elements of Patience’s new personality. A disjointed screenplay (which cries out for a more humorous approach) also hampers this aspect of the movie.

To be fair, even when she’s Catwoman, Patience isn’t completely bad. She steals jewels, then returns them. Her revenge against the evil cosmetic executives (Sharon Stone and Lambert Wilson) helps save womankind from horrible disfiguration. She falls for a handsome detective (Benjamin Bratt) and assists him in solving a case – despite the fact that he’s arrested her as the main suspect. “I’m only as bad as I want to be,” boasts Catwoman.

Clearly, this is not Batman’s Catwoman. Patience Phillips has her own story, her own freedom. Too bad she doesn’t have a decent thing to wear.

Betty Jo Tucker

There's a corny vibe to this film that almost makes it work ... until you realise it's unintentional. This a purely irrelevant summer action movie, the definition of style over substance--gratuitous action, ill-defined characters, goofy plot. And moments when it's great fun.

Patience Phillips (Berry) is a frazzled designer at the monolithic Hedare Cosmetics empire, where the bosses (Wilson and Stone) are clearly up to no good. On the eve of a revolutionary anti-aging product launch, Patience overhears something she shouldn't and is bumped off. But she's rescued from the jaws of death by an Egyptian Mau cat. Now she has a Jekyll/Hyde personality--ditsy Patience by day, vengeful Catwoman by night. But the lines are blurring. And the cop (Bratt) who's taken a fancy to Patience smells something fishy.

Pun intended. The fish jokes are my favourites, as Patience wolfs down tuna and sushi and stalks a tropical aquarium. And there are a lot of these touches that keep us chuckling, distracting us from the appalling storyline and wafer-thin characters. We have bits from lots of films--Batman's dark dreariness, Spider-man's roof-hopping, an old woman who explains it all (Conroy), and lots of sudden fight scenes just because they can.

Berry is clearly having a ball, and her infectious energy saves the film--from the awkward Patience to the out-of-control cat-crime to the more sleek and confident action that follows. Stone and Bratt are well-cast foils--befriending, falling in love, chasing her down, fighting her with no holds barred. Some of the stunt work is impressive, but the pure-CGI stuff is way overdone.

Pitof seems to think he's making a 30-second advert. He can't resist filling every shot with unnecessary effects and tricky camera movements that are almost as seasick-inducing as Berry's ferocious hip-swing. It's over-edited and very flashy, which wouldn't be a problem if there was something underneath. But the whole blessing/curse, feminine freedom, confidence-building subtext is merely mentioned in passing on the way to the next closeup of Berry's firm, leather-(semi)-clad body. As new-model spokeswoman Drina (Smith) says, "I think this is a total waste of time." But that's rather harsh.

Rich Cline

Patience Price (Berry) was a timid, insecure woman who just went about her job as a graphic designer for a cosmetic firm, hoping she would never be noticed. But when she discovers that the beauty product that she is trying to promote has extremely dangerous side effects, her employers don’t just make her lose her job but they want to make sure she loses her life was well. Left for dead, Patience washes up on the riverside and is discovered by a group of cats. She awakes the next morning feeling very different, almost cat-like. She feels confident, agile and full of revenge. Patience Price may have died that night but Catwoman was born.

As Marvel’s superhero movies hit heady heights with the likes of Spider-Man and The X-Men, can Warner Bros and DC Comics try to steal some of there thunder? With Catwoman the answer is a definite no!

In a move that stinks of pure desperation, Warner Bros try and reinvent the character for the new millennium but just end up with something that you’d expect to see in a litter tray. This translation of Catwoman has nothing to do with the comic books, the character from Batman Returns or even the 60s TV show, to the point that creator Bob Kane must be spinning in his grave. For this version we find that the Catwoman is a phenomena that has occurred quite often throughout history and it is all due to an Egyptian cat called Midnight (I kid you not), who finds someone who is worthy and about to die. She then gives them a “gift”. When they awake, they have all the abilities of a cat such as increased senses, great agility and they are able to lick their own crotch (only joking).

That is the origin of the character but the problem is that the rest of the plot isn’t much better. Sharon Stone and Lambert Wilson play Laurel and George Hedare, the owners of a cosmetics firm that is about to release the best ever anti-aging cream to ever hit the market. Of course the cream is addictive and once you stop using it your face starts to disintegrate. The pair will do anything to cover this fact up even commit murder. So it is up to Catwoman to save the day and that is pretty much it.

The cast do try their best with the subject matter but they could chase that mouse all day and they’d never catch anything worth shouting about. Halle Berry is a good actress who has experience in the genre but you have to ask the question of what is going on with her career at the moment. Ever since winning the Oscar she has shied away from the more challenging roles and has attempted to scratch her way into blockbuster superstar league but this is not the way to do it. She needs to get involved with some serious projects with some respected actors and directors, if she is ever going to stop this career nosedive. Benjamin Bratt is the love interest of the piece and has so little to do that he might as well have been a scratch post. Sharon Stone hams it up abit too much and Lambert Wilson is basically playing the same character he did in the Matrix sequels.

Catwoman is another example of why comic book movies got a bad reputation all those years ago with the Batman & Robin debacle. The special effects are second rate and completely obvious, the direction from former special effects supervisor Pitof is pitiful and the Catwoman outfit, while slightly sexy, is just plain stupid. Warner Bros are just trying to milk as much as they can out of the current superhero trend but it looks like too many black cats crossed their paths whilst making this movie.

Star Rating = *

Jamie Kelwick

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