Cellular Movie Review:


Ok all of us are driven insane by the amount of cellular phones that are in our society today. From that guy who is constantly on the phone while driving to the mother who is screaming into her phone as she walks down the grocery store aisle, people just don’t realize how much they use their phones and how much they disturb people around them. Well what if contacting one of these crazies was your only hope at living? Well, I guess then you would be screwed.

That particular circumstance is the only hope for suburban housewife and kidnap victim Jessica Martin (Kim Basinger) who has been able to use the remnants of a shattered telephone to reach out and touch someone. That someone is twentysomething Ryan (Chris Evans), who by a freak of nature actually listens to the woman’s cry for help. What would you do? Hang up? Think it’s a joke? Or become an instant “superhero” and save the damsel in distress?

“Cellular” is being marketed as a “nail-biter” thriller which is sure to thrill, captivate and excite audiences. The only problem is that the marketing people and the filmmakers each made two totally different films. There is nothing scary, thrilling or “nail-biting” about this movie. Instead what you have is a comedy-action film with a young kid who all of a sudden has to become a “superhero” and save the girl.

I was literally baffled to see how many different ways that stuntman-turned-director David R. Ellis was able to screw up the intense thriller based scenes. Everywhere the audience turns there is another thing to disrupt the tension. The cellphone battery running out, going into a tunnel will lose the signal, crossing connections to another cellphone user are all plot elements that if executed well could have been hair-raising but instead come off as more “obstacle-course” comedy/action sequences than tense moments.

Ellis was able to use his style of action and humor in his previous film, “Final Destination 2” which worked some what but here it just seems in bad taste. Do we really want to laugh as a guy tries to save a woman from an insane kidnapper?

The film is based on a story by Larry Cohen (“Phone Booth”) and that story was adapted by first time screenwriter Chris Morgan. Somewhere between these two guys we lost a good movie. What happened?

As the film struggled for its identity, I found myself some what impressed with Chris Evans in the lead. Evans is able to hold his own in scenes and has great on-screen charisma. I also liked poor Kim Basinger who seemed to be the only character scared in this film. Jason Statham as the kidnapper is a throwaway role for the actor. But if you have to feel sorry for anyone in this film it is poor William H Macy, who plays the cop trying to find Basinger. Macy is a brilliant actor and a wonderful talent but seeing him with green mud on his face and him uttering cliché-like lines like “I am too old for this, crap” is just awful. If this would have been a thriller and more like “Hitchcock-in-style” than Macy probably would have been perfect.

So don’t believe the ad campaigns, “Cellular” is just as much of a throwaway film as one of those $40 disposable cellphones.

(2 out of 5)

So Says the Soothsayer.

Dean Kish

Cellular is one of those preposterous thrillers that are at times enjoyable due to its briskness. The whole concept of having a young man receiving a random call on his cell phone from a kidnapped woman, then jumping through obstacles to try and save her is genuine all in itself. Cellular plays out as a “B” thriller yearning to be sort of a mix between Speed and Phone Booth.

Phone Booth writer Larry Cohen is in fact credited for the story of Cellular. The film opens with a middle-class science teacher named Jessica Martin (Kim Basinger) walking her son (Adam Taylor Gordon) to his school bus stop. Shortly after arriving back at home, a group of criminals break in, kill her housekeeper, and kidnap her. She is then thrown into an attic in an abandoned house and asked the ultimate question of where “it” is by the leader of the group named Greer (Jason Statham). Of course not knowing what Greer is talking about, the kidnapper storms out of the attic, but shortly returns with a sledgehammer and shatters a wall phone in the attic to pieces.

The kidnapper for some reason does not take the broken phone pieces out of the attic with him, so as time passes Jessica attempts to make random calls by crossing the wires of the phone together. The first person she reaches is the beach ridden and self-centered twenty something named Ryan (Chris Evans). Not believing Jessica’s plea for a minute and unwanting to waste his cell phone minutes, Ryan nearly hangs up on her, until something he hears reveals her situation. Now, with his phone battery going low among other things, Ryan begins a crazy and erratic mission to help Jessica while also keeping her on the phone.

Director David R. Ellis is bound to know that he had a pretty silly script to work with by Chris Morgan, even though Larry Cohen’s concept is keen. Ellis rushes the audience through every frame of this film, to where the energy and quickness almost makes you forget of how ridiculously written and played out this thriller is. Remember “almost.” Granted Ellis does not want the film to come across as smart or to give audiences a twisted ending, he merely wants to entertain and almost does. Ellis’ vast rushing through sequences will overshadow how clumsy some of the obstacles are for Ryan. There is a early moment in the film where he is actually in the police station with Jessica on the phone, but can not find anyone to help, except William H. Macy’s character of Mooney for a brief minute. However, Macy’s character leaves him waiting when a gang fight breaks out in the police station. So, Ryan then leaves the police station and takes it upon himself of being the ordinary guy doing extraordinary things type to try and save Jessica. Of course the end of the film involves the police, merely looking for Ryan, who after an hour into the film has broken numerous laws to stay on the line with Jessica.

It also seemed that Ellis and Morgan wanted this film to be more of a comedy than a thriller, with a few examples being William H. Macy donning facial mud or Basinger’s son being named Ricky Martin. What does work for this film as a “B” thriller is for sure its energy, it in fact nearly saves the film entirely and it is quite understandable if some hail Cellular as a fun guilty pleasure.

Kim Basinger makes for a worthy “damsel in distress” as the kidnapped teacher Jessica Martin. Basinger does carry the majority of the film’s emotion and of course by the end of the film she gets to kick a little butt. As the ordinary hero Ryan, Chris Evans proves that he is not just eye candy for teenagers, even though his shirtless opening scene was a terrible stretch. Evans has a likeable quality and may shine in the future if he gets better work. The great William H. Macy of course makes a cliched “soon to be retired to better things” cop character more credible than the writing suggests. Unfortunately, the same can not be said for Jason Statham, who is underused in his wooden performance as the head kidnapper.

Cellular is a ridiculous thriller, but may serve as pure escapism fun for many. The energy from director David R. Ellis overshadows a troubled script that has a genuine concept, but is just not mapped out too effectively.

Grade: C

Bailey Henderson

Answering a call on his cell phone, Ryan (Evans) finds himself talking to an extremely distressed sounding woman called Jessica (Basinger). She claims that she has been kidnapped by five men and is been held in the attic of a house but she doesn’t know where. Ryan doesn’t believe her at first but when he overhears a kidnapper threatening to kill Jessica if she didn’t tell him where her husband was, he knows he has to do something to save her.

High octane, real time thrillers are becoming all the rage but what kind of reception is Cellular going to get?

The writer of the excellent Phone Booth, Larry Cohen continues his obsession with combining the telephone and tension. Cellular is one of those movies that raises the anxiety levels and provides some genuine edge of your seat thrills. Mixing the drama of Kim Basinger’s character Jessica’s abduction and the perils that her and her family go through, with the high octane thrills of Chris Evan’s Ryan trying to save them and keep a strong cell phone signal works well, making you want to answer this call and not just let it go to voice mail.

The storyline and the thrills of the action are brought to life by some good performances from the cast. Chris Evans continues to make waves in Hollywood in a role that will get him noticed by the big players. He makes Ryan a likeable character and you never really question his reasons for trying to save Jessica and her family. He is an average man trying to do the right thing and he succeeds in making you wonder if you would go to the same lengths to save a stranger’s life. Kim Basinger returns to form as Jessica. As a woman fighting for her life and her family, Basinger brings the right level of desperation and guts to the role to make the character very believeable, drawing you into her plight.
Brit actor Jason Statham continues to make waves in Hollywood playing the main villain of the film. He does an excellent job in making Greer instantly dislikeable and very menacing. William H. Macy brings abit of class to the proceedings as veteran police officer Mooney. This is the kind of role that Macy excels in, making the character instantly appealing. The gorgeous Jessica Biel and Eric Christian Olsen also provide good but limited support in smaller roles.

Cellular proves excellent coverage of all the major areas of the action thriller genre. While it does get abit predictable towards the end, especially after the big reveal, this is still entertaining but will make you hesitant about answering your phone when you don’t know is on the other end.

Star Rating = * * *

Jamie Kelwick

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