Christmas With The Kranks Movie Review:


During each yuletide season, I watch for new films to add to my list of favorite Christmas movies. Last year, I picked “Elf” and “Love Actually.” So far in 2004, “The Polar Express” wins a spot -- but “Christmas with the Kranks” doesn’t have a prayer. Why not? Because it glorifies the commercial aspects of Christmas in a thin story populated by selfish characters you wouldn’t want to meet even in your worst nightmares. And, as a comedy, it commits the unforgivable sin: it’s not funny.

So what if a husband (Tim Allen) and wife (Jamie Lee Curtis), whose daughter won’t be home for the holidays, want to skip Christmas and go on a cruise instead? It’s beyond belief, but their neighbors turn into a gang of holiday vigilantes when hearing about these plans. They harass the Kranks with such zeal you’d think Nora (Curtis) and Luther (Allen) had committed some horrible crime. As in “Surviving Christmas,” holiday traditions are forced upon people who don’t want to participate, but at least in that earlier film a welcome bit of humor appeared along the way.

When the Kranks decide they won’t be decorating their house with lights, putting up a Christmas tree, installing Frosty the Snowman on their roof, or hosting a traditional Christmas Eve party, their friends turn on them with a vengeance. The obnoxious neighborhood leader, played by a scenery-chewing Dan Aykroyd, shows no mercy in his campaign against them. Like sheep, the other neighbors follow suit.

And it came to pass that the Kranks didn’t skip Christmas after all. At the last minute, their daughter (Julie Gonzalo) calls to tell them she will be coming home and bringing her boyfriend who’s never experienced a real Christmas. With only a few hours left to get everything ready, mom and pop engage in frantic actions that are more annoying than amusing. Luther resorts to “borrowing” a fully decorated tree; Nora screams and yells as she tries to arrange a party. When all seems lost, guess who pitches in to save the day? Yep. Those nasty neighbors. God bless them everyone.

SPOILER ALERT

Although Luther still wants to go on his cruise, he finds two people less fortunate than himself who might enjoy it even more. Sadly, that’s the only true-spirit-of-Christmas scene in the entire movie. The rest of the film over-emphasizes superficial things like garish holiday decorations and epicurean parties. It’s enough to turn the most cheerful Tiny Tim into a grumpy Scrooge.



Betty Jo Tucker

When their daughter Blair (Gonzalo) leaves to join the Peace Corps, Luther (Allen) and Nora (Curtis) Krank realise that Christmas just won’t be the same now that she has gone. Calculating that they spent over $6000 on Christmas last year, Luther comes up with a plan to go on vacation over the festive season. It will be far cheaper and they will actually be able to save money but the only thing is that they will have to tell everyone that they are skipping Christmas.

Hollywood and the Christmas movie is a very mixed bag, so is ‘Christmas with the Kranks’ on Santa’s good list or does it get a piece of coal? Put it this way, as least the Kranks will be very warm this festive season as this movie is so bad that they will be getting a full sack of coal.

Based on the novel by John Grisham, a writer more known for his legal dramas, and adapted by Chris Columbus (Harry Potter), the early signs were not that bad. Casting comedic stalwarts Tim Allen and Jamie Lee Curtis made the movie promising. It also starts quite well as the Kranks struggle to avoid the festive season completely, much to the disbelief of their friends, colleagues and neighbours. Then it starts to fall apart.

When they find out that Blair is coming back for Christmas, the film falls into the typical Hollywood version of how the festive season should be. Christmas spirit and the gift of giving is forced down your throat until you end up feeling as stuffed as a Yuletide turkey. This is sickly sweet stuff that will make you cringe more that smile as the film descends in travesty of Christmas clichés and an ending that will make you feel sick because of its sugary goodness.

You really do feel sorry for Tim Allen and Jamie Lee Curtis. Anyone who has seen the marvellous Galaxy Quest or even his much better Christmas movie, The Santa Clause, will know that Tim Allen is a fine comedic actor. In the first half of the movie he gets the chance to show this but as the film progresses even an actor of his standard can’t make the material more watchable. Formally known more for her body than her acting talent, Jamie Lee Curtis reinvented herself in ‘Freaky Friday’. As Nora Krank she continues this reinvention but again the script lets her down. She simply doesn’t have enough to do apart from scream her daughter’s name every time she calls home.

The supporting cast don’t fair much better. The highlight of Dan Aykroyd’s performance is watching how big his bald patch has grown. Cheech Marin and Jake Busey deserve much better than this and Julie Gonzalo as Blair, has nothing much to do than look beautiful.

Christmas with the Kranks optimises everything that is wrong with Hollywood’s version of the holiday season. It is another slice of middle class Americana that is far too fake and uninteresting to make any kind of impression. This could have been an interesting look at the over commercialism of the festive holiday but instead we have a run of the mill, sugar coated version of Christmas that will leave you feeling more sick than festive.

Jamie Kelwick

 

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