The Whole Ten Yards Movie Review:


“I thought I married a hit man, not Martha Stewart,” complains Amanda Peet’s character in “The Whole Ten Yards.” Even if it IS a disguise, she’s tired of watching hubby, played by Bruce Willis, as he vacuums and cooks while wearing bunny slippers and an apron. Unfortunately, that’s the only scene that made me laugh out loud in this disappointing sequel to “The Whole Nine Yards.” The rest of the movie gets shot down by hammy performances and a forced plot.

Along for the ride again are Matthew Perry and Natasha Henstridge. Perry -- reprising his clumsy, paranoid dentist role -- shows off his flair for physical comedy a bit here, but not as frequently or effectively as in the original flick. Instead, the filmmakers expect him to amuse viewers by belching or worrying incessantly about what happened during a blackout after a hard-drinking session with Willis. Henstridge, portraying Perry’s wife (and Willis’ ex-wife), doesn’t fare much better. She seems oh-so bored when taken hostage by recently released crime boss (Kevin Pollack in annoyingly heavy make up), his bumbling henchmen and flatulent mother. Henstridge’s character may think she’ll be saved, but she should at least “put on an act” for her captors.

However, it’s Willis who had me shaking my head during most of this unpleasant movie. Whether bawling like a baby, yelling at everyone, or fussing over a gourmet meal that’s not perfect, he appears unconvincing and too far over the top. It’s hard to believe this is the same fine actor who was so funny in “The Whole Nine Yards” and “Bandits.”

Okay, I know you’re wondering about Amanda Peet. And, of course, I remember how hilarious she was in the first “Yards.” As a dental assistant who wants to be a hit woman, she almost stole the entire film. The good news is she’s as lovely as ever. The bad news? Her character is now trying to shoot people at the same time she and her husband are hiding out in the Witness Protection Program. Does this make any sense at all? Not to me. Sadly, that little glitch distracted me during all of Peet’s scenes.

Other plot problems in “The Whole Ten Yards” also bothered me. Granted, I enjoy a good revenge movie, and everything in this sequel does revolve around Pollack’s crime boss seeking revenge on Willis for killing his son. But too many gimmicks get n the way here. A dollar bill cut in half, secret telephone conversations, gunplay for gunplay’s sake, and a dangerous scam are among elements that add confusion, not comedy, to the mix.

Some movies shouldn’t have sequels; they stand on their own. After seeing “The Whole Ten Yards,” I’m convinced “The Whole Nine Yards” is one of those films.

Betty Jo Tucker

The Whole Nine Yards (2000) wasn't exactly a comic masterpiece. But it did feature some entertaining performances, and most of the cast is back for more "hilarity" in this deeply annoying sequel.

After their elaborate caper, Oz (Perry) and new wife Cynthia (Henstridge) have relocated to swanky L.A., where the increasingly paranoid Oz has a successful dental practice and Cynthia is trying to put her hit-woman career behind her. Meanwhile in Mexico, Cynthia's ex Jimmy (Willis) is re-inventing himself as a househusband to new wife Jill (Peet), who's struggling to get going as a hit-woman herself. Enter Lazlo (Pollak), a mob boss just out of jail and out for revenge against the four people who conspired to kill his son.

Despite a relatively involving plot and actors who are clearly enjoying themselves, Deutch directs the film like a joyless TV comedy about a bunch of chuckleheads. Each actor has his or her moments, but the shouting and mugging wears us down, so we don't care about the characters at all. There's also a feeble streak of humour that includes lame fart jokes, half-hearted bedroom farce, uninspired action and gags about ethnicity and sexuality that are vaguely offensive and wouldn't have been funny 20 years ago.

The cast members really go for it--especially Willis, who seems to have no shame and actually has fun sending up his action hero image. Perry seems uncomfortable with what's asked of him (especially the extended gay innuendo), but then Oz is supposed to be a nervous guy; while Peet alternates between genuinely funny and insanely manic. As the father of his Nine Yards character, Pollak goes for full ethnic shtick, complete with silly accent and malapropisms (he's basically spoofing Dominic Chianese, aka Uncle Junior Soprano). And Henstridge is the one who somehow injects a bit of class into the film. But it gets excruciatingly stupid and convoluted as it progresses, and somehow I doubt we'll be seeing The Whole Eleven Yards any time soon. But then, who could've predicted this?

Rich Cline

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